Pennsylvania Teen With Toy Gun Shot During Attempted Robbery 

Kensington, Pennsylvania, police say a teen has been hospitalized after being shot while using a toy gun in an attempt to rob a man who was armed with a real gun.

The victim and his girlfriend were taking a walk around 11 PM on September 29th near the 2200 block of Emerald Street in East Kensington, Pennsylvania, when they were approached by a teenager who pressed a fake gun into the man’s back, informing him that he was being robbed. The area, colloquially known as Kenzo by those familiar with the “City of Brotherly Love” is less of the perfect backdrop for a romantic Sunday evening stroll and more appropriate for scoring fentanyl and having a “tranq” injection at the open-air drug market for the low low price of $2. Disease-free needles not included. But I digress. 

Believing he had a real gun digging into his back, the 21-year-old would-be robbery victim started on a compliant note, gathering his keys, wallet and other valuables according to the demands of the 16-year-old boy. The suspect likely thought he was having a good day when things suddenly took a turn for the worse. The victim, armed with a real gun, proceeded with an about-face and a real bullet into the teen’s leg. I know, I know…

“Having been pressed into the victim’s back, there would have been no way for them to know,” said Philadelphia Police Inspector DF Pace referring to the toy gun. 

While the man and his girlfriend were unharmed, the teen took an expensive ride to the hospital but was pronounced to be in stable condition, hopefully learning a lesson, albeit a painful one. As a bonus to being chauffeured to safety, the 16-year-old was subsequently given a shiny new pair of interlocked bracelets and taken into custody by authorities. Police say the toy gun was recovered at the scene.

In another twist, police are still looking for a second male suspect who is accused of working with the teen.

I read comments from time to time and yes, the irony of my name and the fact that I write about stories where someone wins or comes close to winning the award associated with it doesn’t escape me. Shockingly, the solution to never winning one of the only awards in life you want to avoid like the plague is pretty easy, but I’ll let Jim Carrey say it for me.

My name is Darwin, and I approve this message.